It was early Saturday morning. My head was throbbing, it felt like somebody was using it as a punching bag. I felt my stomache flop and I had the taste of vomit mixed with every type of alcohol there was in my mouth. I sat up and looked around. “Where was I?” “What was I doing there?” and “How long had I been there?” were just some of the questions running through my head. Once I managed to stand up properly, the room started spinning. My head hurt like crazy. “I have to get out of here.” I thought. I grabbed my things and started my way home.
It was nearly 7 in the morning, I was freezing and a complete wreck when I got home. Befor entering, I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialled my brother, Louis’ number.
“Goodmorning sunshine.” Was the first thing that came out of my mouth when he picked up, along with that awful stench of alcohol.
“Well, Well look who managed to show up.” He replied. “What can I do for you?” I rolled my eyes at his foolish comment and continued..
“I have to sneak in, is Father awake?” I said.
“He’s down stairs making breakfast, Im not sure if I should tell him wether his sweetheart daughter went missing or not.. What do you think?” He replied. Mocking me of course. I hated when he did that, i could see him. I imagined the smirk that was on his face. I giggled & rolled my eyes once more.
You see, Louis and I aren’t like any other ordinary siblings. Him & I, we were adopted. Me at the age of 1 and him at the age of 3. We aren’t blood related, but he’s a wonderful brother. Our adoptive Mother passed about a year or so ago, after she passed things got worse (as it would for any family). Louis and I got older and wiser and since our Father felt sorry for us because of the terrible loss we would get away with anything. We were soon introduced to parties, alcohol and drugs. We weren’t ashamed of what we did as long as we made it out alive. Louis and I would look out for eachother and after all, we were young, we were supposed to have fun.
“Ill be up in a few. Cover for me!” I replied.
And in a matter of seconds I was already up the ladder that led to my bedroom window changing my clothes and brushing my teeth while washing my face. People would always say I was a multitasker. As soon as i put my purple tooth brush back down and got my heart shaped pijamas on I heard foot steps approaching. I kicked everything under my bed and jumped under the covers as fast as possible. My Father walked in and sat by my bedside.
“Goodmorning love, you know what day it is?” He whispered, with a smile on his face. He hardly smiled anymore. I turned to face him and replied:
My mother used to make blueberry pancakes every Saturday morning. She would call it ‘Bluecake Saturday’ after she passed my father insisted we keep doing it in honor of her.
“Yes!” He said. “I’m just finishing them up, you and Louis be down in 5, yeah?”
I nodded. After he left, I felt some of the alcohol come back up my throat. I ran to the bathroom and threw it all up, it stung and smelt awful. I decided to take a quick shower before joining my father downstairs.
After taking off my clothes I looked at my arms. All the memories. All the hard times. All the times I felt like dissapearing and never looking back. They were all permanently scarred right there. A small tear ran down my cheek as I turned on the hot water and stepped in. I sat down for a while, thinking about everything my mother would tell me. She loved me. She really did. She would tell me to be strong and to not let anyone’s words hurt me. She would tell me the only people I could really trust were my family and that boys weren’t worth crying over. I missed her more than anything, and I knew she would be ashamed of what Louis and I did.. But it wasn’t my fault she wasn’t there to stop us and to teach us not to. She was careless. And left without saying goodbye. I hated her for that.
As I finished brushing my hair I went into Louis’ room and jumped on his bed.
“Still not up you lazy bum?!” I shouted. I absolutely loved annoying him.
“Get out!” He yelled. He was quite fiesty in the morning..
“Im going, Im going, but dad is expecting you down there, you know how he feels about bluecake saturday don’t you cupcake?” I said in a baby voice while pinching his puffy red cheecks. He hated when I did that. As I was walked down the stairs I could already smell the pancakes. Mmmmm, I was starving, all i could think about right then was finally being able to swallow something other then alcohol. I finished my pancakes in less then 5 minutes and put my plate in the sink.
“I’m going to Hanna’s house and I’ll be back by 11.” I told my father as I left the house. “Love you!” Hanna was one of my bestfriends. She was absolutely gorgeous, she had long blonde hair that was completely straight up until the tips where perfect curls would fall to place. Her hair smelt like daisy flowers with a hint of cherries, it was wonderful really. Her eyes were bluer than the ocean at night. Her skin was soft, and she had puffy red round cheeks. She was the only person who actually understood me other than Lou. I would tell her everything, as would she. She lived only a couple blocks away so I walked to her house with my earphones in at full blast casually rocking out to ‘Panic! At The Disco’.